Failures Fellow Traveller

A fox stumbles upon a large grapevine tree in one of Aesops's often misunderstood fables. Desperate to eat, he attempts to reach the branch. When he fails, he concludes that the grapes were probably sour anyway. Most people use “sour grapes” to mean envy over someone else’s accomplishments. As I understand it, the story is about the rationalization of failure. Faced with his shortcomings, the fox’s most comforting defense mechanism is denial. It's also the most resilient. It closes a chapter of his life without leaving a scar. After all, the grape’s taste will forever remain unknowable.

Denials after-effects are far more pernicious. It lowers your immunity to regret. Fear of missing out will always exceed your capacity to reason your way out of defeat. So, instead of mustering the courage to try again, we agonize over what we could be doing and how little time we have left to do it. Doubt beats denial every time. As time passes, you compare yourself with others, and as new failures need to be rationalized, your task becomes more difficult. It often takes more effort and commitment than confronting the truth.

“ The grapes are sour, but look at all those people enjoying them! Why can’t I enjoy them? Can I try again? Is it too late? Ahh, they’re idiots! I have a more refined palate anyway. I’ll find better grapes someday. But will I? What if this is all there is? So What? I…